“Forgive & Forget” is bs
Listen to the full 10 min episode, “‘Forgive & Forget’ is bs,” right here.
- Musician Lenny Kravitz was the son of a soldier and an actress. (His mother played Helen Willis on the tv show The Jeffersons.)
- After doing all she could to keep the family together, Lenny’s mother had enough of his father’s womanizing and she put him out…but before she did, she asked Lenny’s dad if he had any final words to his young son. His dad stood and said,
Yea, he’ll do it too.
- Those 4 words haunted Lenny for years and strained his relationship with his father.
- It was only on his deathbed did his father drop the facade.
- That’s when Lenny decided that he must forgive & accept his father-who he was…and who he wasn’t.
- I believe Forgive & Forget is total bullshit.When you’re hurt, people dismissively tell you to just forget about all of the wrongs..the disses…the betrayals from those who meant so much to you in your life, but how do you forget about all of the wrong when you cannot forgive what they’ve done to you and how they abandoned?
You don’t want to forgive because you don’t want to let them off the hook that easy…you think, “I can’t let them just walk away scott free while I sit here and try to pick up the pieces of my life!”
- Listening to Lenny’s story I’ve realized that it’s not about forgetting in order to forgive…instead, it’s accepting what’s already been done.
- Healing is through forgiving & accepting. Accept the fact that you were kicked out, done wrong, forced out..& left to figure it all out or die.
- Accept too that you didn’t have perfect parents. Because I’ve been resistant to accept my parents, I’ve taken on the very characteristics that I resented. I’m sure my children ask the same questions I’ve wondered in my parents, “Who are you?”
- It’s not for me to change others, it’s to accept them so that I can move forward in my own life.
- You should never forget because that’s how you gain experience and wisdom, just don’t punish the world and your future self because you’re unable to forget.
“If they’re no longer living with you then why are they living rent free in your head? If you no longer work for them, then why are they still your employer in your head?”
- Forgive and accept is not for others..it’s for you.
Share your thoughts with me from the podcast.