Let them struggle

Hear this post on The Sales Life Podcast.

Do you want to help someone out? Well, help them out by letting them struggle.

Struggle is an opportunity to learn beyond the point of frustration.

I learned this by talking to one of my friends. He mandate for his kids? They are not allowed to come ask for help until they make some sort of progress beyond the sticking point.

Oftentimes he finds they never ask for help because they end up figuring it out on their own (F.I.O.).

Because they figured it out on their own, they earned their confidence & independence.

It made me think. How many times have I been too quick to help my daughter with a big word or help her finish her project?

And I’ve robbed her of one of the greatest opportunities.

The opportunity to struggle.

Think about it. If ask for help every time you get stuck, it’ll become your automatic knee-jerk emotion.

We’ve done that on our jobs, as children, and still do it as adults today.

But help is not always going to be there. And because help’s not always going to be there, you need to learn the opportunity of struggle and how to figure it out on your own.

Ray Dalio, second’s that motion. In his book, Principles, he actually denies his people of their request because he wants them to find alternative solutions. Even though his company has the resources, he wants his people to become resourceful.

Like my buddy’s kids, when they figure it out, Dalio has more confident & independent employees who aren’t weakly running down the hall looking for someone to come to the rescue.

Parents let your kids struggle.

Friends, let your kids struggle.

Managers, let your employees struggle.

Children, sometimes you’ve got to let your parents struggle too.

Bailing them out for the 50th time, you scratch your head about parents, employees, kids, & friends, and think “When are they ever going to figure it out?”

They won’t as long as they have you. If they can always run back to you, then there’s no reason to run forward toward anything else.

So let your people struggle. Not harshly. Tell them, “Get to a sticking point; make progress beyond the sticking point, and then if you need my help, we’ll figure it out together.”

Because I find, it’s better to run behind someone than to run for them.

Remember, the greatest sale that you’ll ever make is to sell you on you because you’re more than enough.

Stay amazing. Stay in The Sales Life.

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